I know you will probally say...
That I am blowing this out of proportion and I am so just let me ka
y. For about a year now Emmy has been complaining of stomach pain. I have blown it off as attention seeking and a million other things well lately she has been complaining a lot more, during weird times like while we are out and having fun never at bed time or to try and get out of something. Well yesterday the school nurse called me and informed me I needed to come get Emmy. She was having bad stomach pains and needed to come home.
I went and got her then made her an appointment with her new Dr.. (which was my Dr. And Evans Dr.) When we got there she asked her a million questions about her home life school her dad and everybody around her. This was to eliminate the stress factor. Once that was eliminated she felt around her tummy and decided that test needed to be ran.
Off to the X-ray department for abdominal films, then to the lab for 5 viles of blood and a pee test and a stool test to do at home. Now the Blood work grabbed a hold of my heart and ripped. She has never had them done before and she was terrified. I cried with her and just held her when we were done then off to home we go.
After she fell asleep I went in her room to turn her t.v off and her fish tank light off. I looked over at her sleeping so peacefully and realized I am not ready for bad news. This all has to be O.K. My heart has not healed from my son passing. I need her here with me I need her to grow up and get married and make me a grandma I need her to graduate high school. I lied in her bed and began to cry. Cry like I have not cried in a long time and basically begging god to let this be something small. I am sure it is but my mind can not help but wonder. I love my baby girl more then I can describe. When I look at her I see her future, and that is how it should be.
Those of you who pray please pray this is nothing and those of you who just hope and give out thoughts please do that. I know I am worried for nothing but with the fact that the Dr. Who saw her was Evans Dr. And I have not been in a X-Ray room since before he died and To walk into that room and watch another one of my kids laying there getting x-rays was more then my mind could process.You think that you have pushed these memories back out of your head then they just pop out and take hold.I have not had to hold one of my kids down in a lab for blood work in a long time as well with the twins they always made me leave the nicu. it just made me remember him and miss him and remember the pain and problems he had so yes I have cried through the typing of this post and I will be like this the rest of the day or until we hear from the Dr. On Friday.
Posting is easier then talking to somebodyI do not have to worry about crying and just sounding stupid so if you made it through this post thank you for listening and being here it helps.
We will be leaving tomorrow and finding out the results also I will post from Idaho because we have the internet where we are staying talk to you soon sorry again for being so emotional just to many memories .
posted by Heather/SHTEZQ @ 9:20 AM
9 Comments
9 Comments:
i think it is just in a moms blood to worry about everything and in the mans blood to tell us we worry too much, i took to the hospital last week because she was screaming and she kept holding her stomach saying it hurts me, Eric says shell be fine, i said i am taking her... a million things were going through my head just like yours, all it was was she had to use the restroom. I think its probably 50 times worse when you have been through alot with a child already, no matter what anyone says Heather until you here the words out of the dr's mouth that shes fine, you will think those things. Josh has been complaing of back pain since he was fprobably about 3 or 4, i have had him xrayed a thousand times, they say there is nothing wrong, they are growing pains which i think is a load of crap, but i am not a dr. I hope you get your results soon so your mind can be at peace....you and Emmy are in my prayers.
You will be in our prayers!
you know, moms are made to stress about these things....it's probably all too real for you because of what you've already gone through. you've got nothing to be ashamed of, crying or whatever. the depth of emotion shows how much you love your little girl.
we'll be praying for you and emmy.
safe trip!
Post when you know something. I will definetly say a prayer. I know I worry everytime Braden has a headache I am like no not again it has to be just a headache not something more. I will be praying!
ok- i just talked to you for a while and let's just pray and you try and keep your head up until the results come in tomorrow.
And you call me as soon as you hear from the Dr office, ok?
Oh yeah, I'll see you in a bit cause you're coming by tonight before you guys leave tomorrow. ;)
You poor thing! Praying that all is fine!
Oh, Heather! You just made me cry! :( I hope everything comes back from the doctor's okay. Jason didn't tell me anything was wrong with Emmy, so I don't know if Steve told him or not? Anyways, let us know when you know the results, and we are thinking of you and praying for you! Have a safe trip, and we'll see you guys tomorrow!
Love
Crystal, Jason and Nichole
Sweetheart, dont be sad or upset for this time. like you said you havent gotten over your sons passing and I know that a huge pain and saddness. maybe this tearfulness was a last mourning for him so you can feel renewed to tackle this illness in your daughter. I'm sure its something simple, that is the way with kids but they do everything to keep you on your toes.
I would listen anyday you need me too. I'm a mother too
Oh sweetie hugs and prayers
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